MY BLOOD & TEARS.

im learni;g websie

this is my little corner of the web that i've been actively carving out for myself since late august 2024

i came to neocities initially in part due to social media fatigue and my failed attempts of filtering it - particularly twitter, reddit too but that was rather short-lived.
i'd always been greatly averse to dem socials, twitter was all i had, and mobile was off-limits, for instance; but it was sort of like limiting yourself to lacing only your supper with cyanide instead of all of your meals.

if you're wondering, fatigue of social media includes derivatives like bluesky. the migration to it didn't happen until after i dipped out, but to me it just seems like the e-cig equivalent to twitter (that, from what i've heard of, no one uses anyway).

that's just one (ultimately lesser) part of it though, i think i always wanted to make a website for myself ever since i knew how to. as much as neocities is rooted in "old" web, i don't have much second-hand nostalgia for this time i never lived in... it just so happens a bunch of old stuff used to do some things in ways i prefer and think are more fun, like having more than one kind of website design (EVERYTHING IS ROUND), for example.

as you can see, i have made one now, and can confirm that it is really fun. it's like a circle of bricks you slowly turn into a tower over time.

this site is a personal one, though i think one day i'd like to have this site be something more of a gallery of things i've made. however, there is nothing like that to exhibit at this moment, so in the meantime you merely have the essence of me and my plenty words 'n' opinions, likes or dislikes.

i hope i'm interesting enough for you to stick around.

THE SUBJECT OF THE MATTER

as for the site itself, it's built with firefox in mind and made with a 1920x1080 screen, but it's good down to like ~1100px width.

the reason for this site's lack of responsiveness is because of its theme, the font needs to be of an EXACT width/height/whatever to maintain non-blurry pixel sharpness, and you can blame subpixel font rendering for that one.

the layout is loosely inspired by late 2000's to early 2010's sites (this one in particular), and of course very much inspired in parts by other cool sites hosted here on neocities. but the main source of inspiration for this site... is my heart...

from what i know, the site can be a bit blurry on chromium browsers sometimes (not sure why). if you catch any unnoticed blurriness, PLEASE DO TELL ME! for every unclear pixel on this site is an additional second that my face dons a frown.

LITTLE BIRDIE'S COMMS CHANNEL

i considered a site blog/journal at one point; there's a reason people have them, sporadically writing out what you're currently thinking about is a great way to let out some air, and publishing it is a great symbolic way of "releasing" it, but most importantly... it's fun!

problem: when being even a bit open, sometimes you tend to accidentally reveal information about yourself you probably shouldn't have be so readily available to read; sometimes it's EMBARRASSING information you write when feeling down and not really thinking much! and then ANY person can just go back, read that and have the impression of relatable human experience... evolutionary reasons tend to make this a somewhat shameful experience.

the solution? a forum for me to speak my mind with no past entries. everything
i write in there exists only up until the next entry, after that it is thrown to the abyss, where only the vague memory of those few who read it will provide the bare minimum food and shelter for it, until it eventually has to make way for more important information to be stored in the brain (and i guess if internet archive scrapes it).

it's not perfect, obviously, nothing stops a person from just... copying it, but i really can't imagine anyone who'd care enough to keep that stuff around for themselves, unless they really like me... or really dislike me. either way, i don't fret it.

i also think it's just a bit more interesting than a normal blog.