MY SWEAT & TEARS.

this is my little corner of the web that i've been actively carving out for myself since late august 2024

this place is born of fatigue from the general state of the web as it is right now. and yeah yeah, i know, i'm the first one to be pointing this out on neocities.
but really, over the past few days before i started building this site, i had really grown fucking tired of social media. i've never really been big on it, but over the past few years, i'd been using twitter and reddit... alarmingly often, so to speak.

i had always placed a little bit of a limit on this stuff, like for example: making sure
i don't have these kinds of apps on my phone so i don't waste away while OUTSIDE, but having these counterbalances in place didn't change the fact that every minute spent on these places sucked. one could say i didn't really like having some invisible robot shovel heaps of 280 character shit into my feed, that half the time just made me angry (DESPITE HOW MUCH I TRIED TO FILTER IT), authored by another gray face in the restrictive cubicle that is modern web design.

and so, i went and dumped such services, now i'm left with youtube... and this place; and oh my, is it so much better.

making my own website has been one of the most fulfilling endeavors i've undertaken in my life. it's crazy how much more fun the web is when you can customize more than just how your banner and profile picture looks like!
and ANYTHINGside tangent: why the fuck do so many websites not allow gif profile pictures, it is not any more resource consuming than a png if it's the same fucking file size can be animated! not to mention that the wider neocities community seems to be pretty damn open and friendly, all things considered.

this is a wholly personal site so there's a lot of stuff you don't care for... and some stuff that maybe you DO care for?

if you cared to read that, you may as well check it out, no?

THE SUBJECT OF THE MATTER

as for the site itself, it's built with firefox in mind and made with a 1920x1080 screen, but it's fine down to like 1280x720.

the layout is loosely inspired by late 2000's to early 2010's sites (this one in particular), and of course very much inspired in parts by other cool sites hosted here on neocities. but the main source of inspiration for this site... is my heart...

from what i know, the site can be a bit blurry on chromium browsers (no idea why) and also if you're running base windows 11 (something to do with scrollbar width).

LITTLE BIRDIE'S COMMS CHANNEL

i considered a site blog/journal at one point; there's a reason people have them, sporadically writing about yourself and what you're doing is a great way to let out some air, and publishing it is a great symbolic way of "releasing" it, but most importantly... it's fun!

problem: when being even a bit open, sometimes you tend to accidentally reveal information about yourself you probably shouldn't have be so readily available to read; sometimes it's EMBARRASSING information you write when feeling down and not really thinking much! and then ANY person can just go back, read that and have the impression of relatable human experience... and i would rather be SHOT, with a GUN, than have that!

the solution? a forum for me to speak my mind with no past entries. everything
i write in there exists only up until the next entry, after that it is thrown to the abyss, where only the vague memory of those few who read it will provide the bare minimum food and shelter for it, until it eventually has to make way for more important information to be stored in the brain (and i guess if internet archive scrapes it).

it's not perfect, obviously, nothing stops a person from just... copying it, but i really can't imagine anyone who'd care enough to keep that stuff around for themselves, unless they really like me... or really dislike me. either way, i don't fret it.

it's also a fun exercise in accepting ephemerality!